Initially, to be quite frank, I felt terrible coming into the retreat; I was tired, I had an incessant headache (that persisted pretty much through the whole retreat), and I had a terrible sore throat. But I am proud to say that I absolutely loved the retreat! Although there were some moments where I felt lonely, sick, and tired, at the same time, there was some type of feeling, like an eternal peace straight from the heart that denied all these odds and left me at peace. There’s no way to describe it. At one point, I made the mistake of coming back into the hall instead of going back to the house before dinner time, I found myself all by myself, but no matter how bored or lonely I felt (I didn’t have any close friends that go to my church) I felt a satisfying peace within me. The previous day, there was another moment where I had to leave the retreat to go to a program at UCR for school, though the whole time all I wanted to do was to return to the retreat because I wanted to feel that peace again and I was drawn to that atmosphere. I knew then that I hungered for God’s love and to be surrounded by it. Then is when I realized I needed to be back.
To note, I was happy to meet and get to know some amazing sisters, whom some I have seen before or recognized. Like Sam, we were both on the Varsity Girls’ Hurdle Team, but it was only during the retreat that I got to get to know her more. I was also thankful to have my sister group and to meet new people within it. There were many others that I met at the retreat who were all a part of my memorable experience, like Karen Macias who was a great person to talk to. In fact, she was one of the first members I met at the retreat, since she was one of the only ones I kind of knew and who was nice enough to let me stick around with her. I am thankful to her because she helped make my experience welcoming and memorable.
In my opinion, Saturday night was the best! To sum it up, during the entire night, I was in deep prayer and worship, I constantly prayed and I sang the worship songs from the deepest of my heart. I expressed my love and praise to God and felt that I was surrounded by his love and peace. Now that I look back, I wish I could return to that night to experience it all over again, and today, I drive to be in such an atmosphere. Thus, this is why I am so, so excited to go to my next retreat, because I am desperate to immerse myself in God once again. It is the best feeling I have ever felt in my life.
Then, Sunday was a beautiful day. I was surprised to see my mom there, I just wanted to cry. I was happy to enjoy mass with her and to show her how we worship. Also, I was looking forward to the potluck, of course.
Finally, I was sad to leave the retreat, as I wanted to stay there forever. I was even singing worship songs as I was exiting the church. It was a strange transition back to reality and the secular world as well, because all I wanted to do was to share God’s love with those around me and to enter into worship and prayer once again. Since the retreat, I am in constant prayer, I am continually singing to Hillsong and Elevation Worship music. I try to spread the word of the Lord to my friends and to be bold about my faith. If there is one thing that has stuck to me that I’ve learned from the retreat, is that God’s love is all I need, and is the only thing I need, to fill my satisfaction. To be quite honest, there was a point where I felt hurt because I didn’t get a boy’s attention that I really liked from school (who I’ve known for a while), but now I have a different perspective on everything. When I feel empty or hurt, I know that I have God to fill my heart. I was honestly thinking for a bit of time that I can become a nun because it felt great to get away from the pains of a materialistic, secular society and to be immersed in worship and prayer. I just wish worship was more uplifting, I guess I’ll just try attending Christian worshipping concerts. Also, ever since the retreat, I have made an effort to go to church more often and to be a god abiding Christian as I continue on my straight path to “success,” as in success in my faith, as well as my future, of course.
- Sofia Mirabal